By Thomas Cleary

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Extra resources for Immortal Sisters: Secret Teachings of Taoist Women Second Edition

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When she was depressed, she kept the windows covered, the house became a wreck, and she would threaten to kill herself. When he was 15, Jose had to break through a locked door and take a loaded gun away from his mother. She had been threatening suicide while all seven kids stood by terrified. Jose saw this as a typical scenario growing up in his home. Jose worked hard all of his life to be different from his family. His family had him on a pedestal, and he was the one to whom everyone turned whenever they had a problem.

The purpose of this assignment is to name rather than blame. Blaming will keep you stuck. Naming these childhood experiences will allow you replace these messages with more accurate ones and help you change your Nice Guy script. The Baby Boom Generation And The Sensitive Guy Every child who has ever lived has experienced various forms of abandonment. There are many ways in which children can interpret and respond to these events. As stated above, becoming a Nice Guy is just one of many possible reactions.

Seeking The Approval Of Women Nice Guys seek external validation in just about every social situation, but their quest for approval is the most pronounced in their relationships with women. Nice Guys interpret a woman’s approval as the ultimate validation of their worth. Signs of a woman’s approval can take the form of her desire to have sex, flirtatious behavior, a smile, a — 48 — C h a p t e r T h r e e : L e a r n t o P l e a s e Yo u r s e l f touch, or attentiveness. At the other end of the spectrum, if a woman is depressed, in a bad mood, or angry, Nice Guys interpret these things to mean that she is not accepting or approving of them.

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